It was 10 years ago, she still hasn't forgiven me....?

10 years ago I had an affair, it was caught before we had . I apologized within deep in my heart for days and promised her it would never happen again. It hasn't but she will not forgive me, keeps it all inside, and she thinks all I do on the computer now is look for dates. I love my wife of 24 years with all my heart, but this slither of anger betrayal hate has grown a little more each year and now she wants out - just like a switch. How can I get her to trust me, how can I win back her love? We have kids, our dream still lives on seeing them get married, holding our grandkids, traveling once they are out (few years). They say time heals, but in this case it has been the opposite. We still hug, we still kiss (not pionettly) and we still treat each other with the utmost respect. I see only 2 options 1) get counseling that can resolve this 2) live together unhappy. WE are presently getting counseling but so far has not helped, it is in the early stages of counseling. I love her and would give my life for her to just trust us, but that part of her life has been eaten away thru the years.